


12 or 40

by ti_30xa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Humor, Multi, chat fic, regular writing mixed in with texting lol, so bad it's good, spur of the moment omg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2018-11-19 06:12:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11307366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ti_30xa/pseuds/ti_30xa
Summary: in which kageyama wholeheartedly believes tsukishima's forehead has mutated to unimaginable lengths.alternately:they're all crackheads.





	1. Bitch.

 Life is very hard when you're on the edge of dropping out of college and becoming a Reddit hermit.

Tsukishima had recently finished playing a very ugly Call of Duty match against a 12 year old. Who does that boy think he is to call his mother a gay noob? Nevermind that it seems she passed the traits down. 

Not that he cares, Tsukishima is a diligent worker, trivial things like video games are to be of no matter. It's just that grades are a hassle to care about and video games are like an outlet. The internet is an outlet overall. If he calls you an ugly bitchass troll, who's gonna stop him? Absolutely nobody.

Perfect outlet.

He passed by two girls crowded around a suspicious white substance. It's either cocaine or wall shavings, both are common in the college based apartments. Keeps them going, at least that's what they say.

He arrived at his door and stepped in, taking his shoes off more out of habit than a need to keep things clean.  
Running up to his room, Tsukishima logged on to his computer.

Fucking Kageyama, trying to fight with him again. King of the court more like King of being a piece of shit. He smashed the keys as he logged on to a random bookmarked site. As soon as he logged on, he was added to a chat.

_wetcat has added Kei to the chat._

**Kei** : Hinata what the fuck did I say about adding me to random ass chats.

 **wetcat** : Yes hello i got the wrong tag apparently

 **Keiji** : "Apparently" shut the fuck up. Kei, we're sorry about adding you, but do you mind staying? We need more people to play.

 **Bo** : HELLo e CN PLay NW! IM BOKUTO NCE 2 MEET YOU

_Kei has left the chat._

 

Tsukishima does not know a "Bo", a "wet cat", or a "Keiji". He doesn't know how anyone can even understand whatever keyboard vomit Bo just attempted to type out. After deciding that social media wouldn't work, he attempted to log off, only to be dropped into another chat.

 

 **wetcat** : WE'RE SORRY FOR SCARING YOU OFF!

 **wetcat** : PLEASE DONT LEAVE

 **Keiji** : Save yourself.

 **Bo** : r u ok????! u left for no reason!!!

 **Kei** : What the fuck is this.

 **Keiji** : We need some more players or this game won't be fair.

 **Keiji** : It looks like Kuroo just added a random player. I'm sorry on his behalf. I also apologize for Bokuto's sorry excuse for typing.

 **Bo** : AKAAAASHI >>>:(((('  
  
**Kei** : ...That's nice

 **wetcat** : Ok! So, I'm going to take your multiple dots for agreement :DD

 **Keiji** : Kuroo, that means he's uncertain.

 **wetcat** : Nonsense :) We're going to play now! Alright?

 **Kei** : Lmao, no. Goodbye.

_Kei has left the chat._

_Bo has added Kei to the chat._

**Bo** : no ure not alowed to leave! Its a rule so once u cum u cant go

 **wetcat** : learn how 2 spel

 **Bo** : LOOK AT YOU

 **Kei** : Can somebody generously end my life, thank you.

 **Keiji** : They're not that bad.....

 **Keiji** : I'm sorry for lying.

 **wetcat** : Ok ok enough chitchat. Let's play.

 **wetcat** : Duck. -taps kei-

 **wetcat** : Duck -taps Keiji-

 **Kei** : WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

 **wetcat** : hmmm Duck -taps Bo-

 **Kei** : DID YOU ADD ME FOR FUCKING DUCK DUCK GOOSE ARE YOU EVEN DOING IT RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK

 **wetcat** : Goose! -taps Kei-

 **Kei** : -decks the absolute fuck out of wetcat because WHATTHEFUCK-

 **wetcat** : Kei, you didn't do it right

 **wetcat** : Let's start again :D!!!

Tsukishima was actually going to die. The anonymous wetcat was playing Duck Duck Goose...online. What normal Japanese man does that?

 **Kei** : Are you high, "wetcat"?

 **Bo** : OMG

 **wetcat** : IM NOT THAT BAD

 **Kei** : Are you currently in the midst of kidnappers?

 **Kei** : Is this a call for help?

 **Kei** : Is it a Marina Joyce situation?

 **Kei** : I can help you, tap your nose for "IM IN DANGER". Okay?

 **wetcat** : STOP IT YOU STRANGER ;((( U CANT EVEN SEE MY NOSE. I JUST WANA TALK CAUSE ALL OF YOU SEEM TO BE MISERABLE WITHOUT ME

 **Keiji** : Kuroo we live with each other. Also, couldn't we have skyped if you wanted to talk?

 **wetcat** : OMG YES (((＼（＠v＠）／))) KEI WHATS UR SKYPE NAME

 **Kei** : Why would I give it to you. Who the fuck actually uses those emojis. You're either 12 or 40.

 **Kei** : Also i dont even know you how did you add me in the first place

 **wetcat** : I'm in college I promise!!! See, I'm using proper grammar like you. Who actually uses proper grammar ONLINE. Only complete 40 year old virgins, that's who.

 **Keiji** : Oh?

 **wetcat** : wW aAI T

 **Bo** : GUeSs WAT

 **Keiji** : What is it, Bokuto?

 **Bo** : I THINK I FOUND KEI'S SKYPE

 **Bo** : He hot

 **Kei** : This is illegal. Please stop harassing me.

 **Keiji** : If you cooperate they'll leave you alone. That's why we're dating.

 **Kei** : Thank you, Keiji. Ok, we'll video chat.

 **wetcat** : YAY

 **Bo** : YAY

 **Bo** : WAIT

 **Kei** : Bitch.

 **wetcat** : WHAT

_Kei has left the chat._

 


	2. Stingy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--im going to cry if the chapter is cut short AGAIN. FUK

"Don't sound so cocky, Yamaguchi." Tsukishima scoffed. It was bad enough that he was actually calling Yamaguchi, there's no need for his moment of weakness to be exploited.

"Sorry Tsukki!" He sounded as insincere as usual. Tsukishima sighed, and decided to take extra precautions.

"Before I start, please don't laugh." Yamaguchi hummed to show that he would comply, and Tsukishima began.

  
"I logged on to a site - which I won't name because you seem to always find me - to see if there was anything worth checking out, but then I was randomly added to a cha-"

 

"But how can somebody randomly add you to a chat Tsukki, that's not how it works." Tsukishima clicked his tongue and took a deep breath.

 

"I would elaborate if you would let me finish my sentence, Yamaguchi." He heard an exasperated sigh and was about to continue before he was yet again interrupted.

"Tsukishima it's obvious that you like these people you're in the new chat with even though you haven't said anything yet. He shuffled a bit, "You're only telling me this story because you’re confused. Who do you think you are, a manga character?" Yamaguchi laughed as an answer to his own question.

Tsukishima hung up and threw his phone on his bed. Sometimes Yamaguchi would drop bombs that were too accurate to be normal. He always looked a little like a lizard person so that must be why..

Deciding that he wanted some type of human interaction, Tsukishima logged on to Facebook. Realizing that he had a new notification, he clicked on it...Only to be greeted by three friend requests and over 150 messages. Was he added into another chat? Quickly minimizing the window, he logged on to his Skype.

He was in a new chat.

 

He entered the group, and as expected, it had a dumbass name.

 

_Tsukishima Kei has logged on to I Love Receiving Ballz._

 

 **wetcat** : KEI!!!!1 Your name is tsukishima? wowowow

 **Akaashi Keiji** : Hello, Kei.

 **THEACE** : HELO KEI

 **Tsukishima Kei** : Hello.

 **wetcat** : YOUR JUST IN TIME FOR A NEW GAME!!!!!!!!!!

 **Tsukishima Kei** : Goodbye.

  
_Tsukishima Kei has left the chat._

_THEACE has added Tsukishima Kei to I Love Receiving Ballz._

  
**Tsukishima Kei** : Why.

 **Akaashi Keiji** : Don't question them. You probably won't get anything reasonable.

 **wetcat** : Don't worry Tsukki~~~~~~

 **Tsukishima Kei** : I'm uncomfortable with you using that squiggly line. Delete it. Also, don't call me that.

 **THEACE** : BUT KEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

_Message cut for length._

  
**Tsukishima Kei** : Please stop.

 **wetcat** : ANYYWAYYY, the game in which we will be playing is tag!

 **Tsukishima Kei** : What kind of dumb fucking game is this. Akaashi, please tell me you didn't endorse this.

 **Akaashi Keiji** : I did not.

 **Tsukishima Kei** : I just needed a reassurance.

 

_THEACE has added Hinatoe, Kags and wearingucci to I Love Receiving Ballz._

 

Tsukishima Kei: NO

 

_Tsukishima Kei has left the chat._

_THEACE has added Tsukishima Kei to I Love Receiving Ballz._

 

 **THEACE** : Leaving isn't allowed remember. Anyway theyre good people!:D

 **Tsukishima Kei** : You didnt have to sit on a bus with hinatas feet stench in the air

 **Hinatoe** : WHY IS TSUKISHIMA HERE

 **Kags** : SHUT UP DUMBASS.

 **Kags** : WHY ARE YOU HERE

 **wearingucci** : TSUKKIII

 

_Tsukishima Kei has removed wearingucci from I Love Receiving Ballz._

_Tsukishima Kei has removed Kags from I Love Receiving Ballz._

_Tsukishima Kei has removed Hinatoe from I Love Receiving Ballz._

_THEACE has added wearingucci to I Love Receiving Ballz._

_THEACE has added Kags to I Love Receiving Ballz._

_THEACE has added Hinatoe to I Love Receiving Ballz._

**Hinatoe** : Stingyshima!1!2! why are u so salty -.--.-.-

 **Kags** : HOW DO I COME OUT LARGE LETTERS

 **wetcat** : You guy know Kei? Anyway, you press the CAPSLOCK button

 **Kags** : WHERE IS IT

 **wetcat** : ….. are… are you telling me… that.. you.. don’t… kno.. where.. the.. capslock…button…is…

 **Tsukishima Kei** : Yes, he’s good at volleyball but can’t function off it.

 **Tsukishima Kei** : I’m sure that all he has going through his head is volleyball.

 **Tsukishima Kei** : If he somehow has sex he'll envision a Molten volleyball instead of a person.

 **Kags** : You say all I have going through my head is volleyball but you use your blocking skills to block your brother out of your life. Whos the idiot now?

 **Tsukishima Kei** : MY BROTHER IS WRAPPED AROUND MY PERFECT FOR BLOCKING FINGERS!! AT LEAST I CAN CONFESS TO PEOPLE

 **Hinatoe** : WhO CaNt HE CONFESS TO??? KAGEYAMA DO U HAVE A GIRLFRIEND LOL

 **Kags** : stfuuuu

 **Hinatoe** : YEAH SHUT UP

 **Tsukishima Kei** : You literally put down Hinata's thighs as an allergy stfu you fruit

 **Hinatoe** : WHAT WHY

 **Kags** : you have a 768595 inch forehead bitch

 **Tsukishima Kei** : THATS MEDICALLY IMPOSSIBLE

 **wetcat** : you found the caps key at least!!

 **Akaashi Keji** : you all know each other?

 **THEACE** : yah they know ech other! I like Hinata becuz he watches my videos alot >:3

 **Tsukishima Kei** : i love how you mentioned hinata only

 **Akaashi Keiji** : Oh, so this is the Hinata you’ve been talking about?

 **THEACE** : YEAH! :D

 **wetcat** : Ahhh, I love my boyfriend (❤ω❤)

 **THEACE** : Sorry Tetsu, but those emojs really are creepy.

 **Tsukishima Kei** : SEE!?

 **wetcat** : ANYWAYY

 **wetcat** : If you all know each other... that means Kei plays volleyball!!!

 **Akaashi Keiji** : Yes, because we couldn’t see that from the way Kageyama pointed out Kei’s blocking skills. Thank you, Kuroo-senpai, for your much-needed wisdom.

 **THEACE** : He DIDN’T AMAKE FUN OF ME FIRST THIS TIME LMFAO

 **wetcat** : IF YOURE GOING TO CALL ME SENPAI THEN AT LEAST BE NICE ABOUT IT ;-;

 **Tsukishima Kei** : That emoji is almost as ugly as you are.

 **wetcat** : You haven’t even seen my face before. I bet I could have you on your knees in less than a second after you see me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Tsukishima Kei** : on my knees after keeling over from your radioactive odor

 **wetcat** : YOU WOUND ME

 **wearingucci** : IM WHEEZING OMG. TSUKKI STOP AND BE NICE

 **Tsuksihima Kei** : he asked for it

 **wetcat** : WHERE DID I EXPLICITLY STATE THAT I WANTED TO BE ROASTED

 **Kags** : If tsukishima had eyebrows he'd be scratching them trying to find an answer

 **Hinatoe** : I CAN FIGHT HIM FOR YOU

 **wearingucci** : STOP FIGHTING NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

 **Kags** : No you can’t

 **Hinatoe** : I KNOW WHO CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 _Hinatoe has added Suga, Daichi, Asahi, ROLLINTHUNDER and callmesenpai to I Love Receiving Ballz_.

 

 **Suga** : HINATA! KAGEYAMA! TSUKISHIMA! YAMAGUCHI! HI

 **Daichi** : Why did you do this

 **callmesenpai** : WHATS THE TROUBLE

 **wearingucci** : hello!

 **Hinatoe** : TSUKISHIMA IS BEING RUDE AGAIN!

 **Suga** : Tsukishima! What did I say about being rude to your teammates!?!!?!?!?!!?!?!!?!

 **callmesenpai** : UR NEW GLASSES SHOULD WORK ENOUGH FOR U TO SEE THE ERROR OF YOUR WAYS!!

 **ROLLINTHUNDER** : wow youre so wise!!!!!!!!!

 **Tsukishima Kei** : Sorry.

 **Hinatoe** : IS THaT ALL?!?!!?1?!!?

 **Suga** : Apologize like you mean it!

 **Tsukishima Kei** : iM SoRrY~~

 **Suga** : HUH!!?!!?!!?!

 **Tsukishima Kei** : I’m sorry for being rude to them, Suga-senpai. It won’t happen again.

 **wetcat** : Oh, holy one, how do you make him respect you?

 **Suga** : Easy, get all his weak points. He has a lot of blackmail. Now don’t you, dinofucker?

 **Akaashi Keiji** : Oya?

 **wetcat** : OYA OYA

 **THEACE** : OYA OYA OYA

 **Tsukishima Kei** : IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK

 **Kags** : I thought you collected dinosaurs only

 **Kags** : always knew u were a closet pervert tbh. saw it a 100 miles away

 **wearingucci** : Tsukki is this why u wanted a dinosaur pillow omg NO

 **wetcat** : OHMYGOD

 **THEACE** : HOOT HOOT HOOT HOOT HOOT HOOT HOOT HOOT

 

_wetcat has changed Tsukishima Kei’s name to dinofucker._

 

 **Asahi** : Why is everybody yelling?

 **ROLLINTHUNDER** : ASAAAHII!!!!!!!!!!

 **Asahi** : hi noya :)

 **Akaashi Keiji** : Quick, Kei, they’re distracted. RUN

 

_dinofucker has left the chat._

_Akaashi Keiji has left the chat._

_THEACE has added Akaashi Keiji to I Love Receiving Ballz._

_THEACE has added dinofucker to I Love Receiving Ballz._

 

 **THEACE** : nIcE TRY!!!

 **Hinatoe** : STUPID TSUKISHIMSA

 **dinofucker** : stfu I can literally step on your tiny ass.

 **Suga** : BEHAVE

 **ROLLINTHUNDER** : DO YOU NEED YOUR TRUSTY SENPAI

 **callmesenpai** : noya im the trusty senpai

 **dinofucker** : No.

 **ROLLINTHUNDER** : i dont give up on friends easily but when i do its because THEY GAVE UP FIRST

 **dinofucker** : I’m going to bed, lmao bye

 **wearingucci** : wanna come over?

 **dinofucker** : ok

 **wearingucci** : ...go to the bathroom before bed just in case u get an urge okay tsukki?

 **dinofucker** : STOP IT OMG

 **wetcat** : WE HAVENT GOTTEN TO PLAY TAG YET

 **Akaashi Keiji** : good.

 **Daichi** : wait who the fuck are you people


	3. 3 foot giant

Not knowing whether you want to sleep or rant was a pain, but the right choice was obvious. Tsukishima walked up to Yamaguchi's door and knocked twice. The door finally opened to reveal Yamaguchi in nothing but his underwear. Tsukishima stared wide-eyed at him, and only one word could describe what he was feeling.

"Why."

Yamaguchi shrugged nonchalantly, and stepped aside to let him in. Tsukishima tried not to look at Yamaguchi's chest, he really did. It's just that looking at whatever him and Yachi did the other night was not on his bucket list.

Yamaguchi stared at him and all Tsukishima wanted to do was slap the shit out of him. The same smug ass look he was wearing when he called. "So, Tsukki...”

Tsukishima wasn't having it. "Don't even ask."

Yamaguchi smiled at him, letting him know he wasn't finished. "Whatever you say Tsukki." Smug tone, smug words, ugly face. Yamaguchi disregarded the glare Tsukishima was giving him, “You can have my bed, I won't be here tonight!"

Tsukishima tsked and walked into Yamaguchi's bedroom. Volleyball posters, video games, and a pillow that suspiciously looked like an blue eyed anime boy decorated his room.

 

Tsukishima jumped on Yamaguchi's bed and brought his phone up to his face. Kuroo, Bokuto, and Akaashi. All their names sounded like they belonged to hot guys and he wasn't ready to have a video chat.

Akaashi was the more level-headed one, he's smart and doesn't talk much in the chat.

Bokuto is a literal ball of sunshine, even though he says things that would make you wonder what kind of Japan he grew up in.

Then there was Kuroo, who was the equivalent of trash. Despite that, he's a smooth-talker and is extremely charming.

Tsukishima internally groaned and willed himself to sleep, knowing that if he kept this train of thought he would never sleep. He ended up dozing off without taking off his glasses.

 

_Bzzt._

_Bzzt._

_Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt.Bzzt.Bzzt.Bzzt.Bzzt.Bzzt.Bzz-_

 

Tsukishima grabbed his phone and flung it across the room. Who the hell actually gets up at ass o 'clock in the morning and texts like that? He groaned and lifted his face from the pillow.

The best thing about Yamaguchi's room is that he has a mirror right beside his bed. So, when Tsukishima lifted his head he got a nice, full face of ugly. He got up and grabbed his phone from the spot it fell.

 

300 missed messages

Hinata Shouyou has commented on your post "TSUKISHIMA CAN U HELP ME IN CANDY CRUSH THNX XD"

 

Tsukishima groaned and tapped the notification displaying the messages. It looks like Hinata hasn’t grown up mentally either.

 

 **wetcat** : But Akaashi, my dick is obviously bigger than Bokuto’s! AND WHO WOULD YOU WANT TO DATE?! THE ONE WITH THE PRAISE KINK OR THE ONE WITH THE BEAUTIFUL AND CHARMING MEN KINK?!!?1/!?

 **THEACE** : STOP KINKSHAMING ME

 **Akaashi** **Keiji** : Why am I dating you idiots?

Tsukishima scrolled upwards and was greeted with a plethora of messages ranging from subtle sexting to all out trash-talk. Most of them were by Bokuto and Kuroo.

After scrolling through the messages, he got out of bed and did his usual morning routine.

It consisted of him polishing his dinosaur figurines (none of which he is sexually attracted to) but Yamaguchi obviously didn’t have them.

 

After getting ready, Tsukishima made his way back to his own apartment. He sat down on his couch and thought himself into a mini existential crisis and then got up again.

Because Tsukishima is Smart™ and doesn’t mess with late work, he took his laptop out of his bag and started working on an essay. He was two hours in when an incoming call suddenly startled him.

  
THEACE IS CALLING…

  
Tsukishima squawked. He didn’t care about the fact that he literally sounded like a chicken, because that’s what he was. Bokuto was calling him. What if he looked weird? What if he puked mid-chat? What if some type of deadly catastrophe happened in his dorm only?! Only one way to find out.

 

He accepted the call.

 

A bodybuilder, a mess of something black and furry, and a model were on his screen.

“Bokuto, you’re taking up the entire bed.”

“It’s not my fault I’m this big!”

“Yes it is, you dumb owl. Who put a gun to your head and told you to go to the gym?”

“Obesity.”

“Absolutely nobo- what.”

Tsukishima cleared his throat, causing all three heads to turn to him. Those weren’t faces they were goddamn sculptures.

He assumed Bokuto was the one with the shock-like grey and black hair. He was ripped, which explained the body builder assumption. He had pretty eyes, a mix of orange and yellow.

Kuroo had slanted, cat-like eyes. They were hazel and piercing, the type that would make you fall instantly.

Tsukishima couldn’t believe they were that attractive, especially Kuroo, the smug bastard.

Akaashi had hooded eyes, with long eyelashes and cropped curly hair. It was messy but stylish, something Kuroo could only dream of.

They all complimented each other perfectly.

“When are you going to fall to your knees?” Kuroo asked in mock curiosity.

Tsukishima scoffed and gave him a cold look. “How do you have boyfriends when you have that sad excuse for hair on your head? How do you expect to get another one?”

Akaashi snickered and shoved Kuroo lightly,"He’s right, though Kuroo. Weren't you one of those weird emo kids?” Bokuto burst out laughing and slapped his knee so hard there were red marks afterwards.

Kuroo glared at all of them and sniffed,"Using mean words like weird now? Well, I’ll have you two know I was very popular during high school. You and Bo know that!”

Tsukishima did tilted his head and sneered,"Popular with who? Garbage collectors? We know they’re the only ones who would take you out.”

Kuroo squawked,"That’s a fucking overused insult! Am I not worth even basic thought?” He wiped away an invisible tear.

Bokuto jumped on him, causing them both to fall to the floor.

An ‘ow’ was heard in the distance.

Akaashi’s attention was then redirected to Tsukishima, which was a terrifying thing. He didn’t say anything, he just stared.

Tsukishima hated awkward silences. It’s not like he was scared of them or anything, he could drown out anything with his trusted Dead to The World™ headphones, but it’s Akaashi Keiji. Imagine staring into the face of God and you have Tsukishima’s current situation.

“You’re nice.” 

Tsukishima blinked. “Tha- thank you…I guess.” Akaashi nodded and gave him a slight smile.

“You’re nice too.” Tsukishima returned his smile. They eased into a light conversation, with the occasional scream from Bokuto and Kuroo. This tranquil scene lasted for about an hour, until the deadly catastrophe happened.

 - -

“Hi Tsuki!” Hinata barged into his room, almost tearing the door off its hinges and knocking over his dinosaur figurines.

Tsukishima gaped and couldn’t choose between strangling Hinata or crying. What’s worse is that if Hinata is here then-

"You can’t  just barge in like that you idiot! Knock first!” Kageyama bent down to knock on his door.

Drawn by the commotion, Bokuto and Kuroo made their way back on the screen. Bokuto yelled when he saw Hinata, and Kageyama bowed unnecessarily low when he saw Akaashi.

“Oh my god you're Akaashi Keiji! Sign my balls - my volleyballs - please!” Kageyama rushed out. 

There were so many things wrong with what was happening right now. First of all, how the hell does the idiot duo know Boktuo, Kuroo, and Akaashi?

Tsukishima adjusted his glasses, took a deep breath, and tried to express his thoughts in the most polite way possible. “Please leave my room before I file a breaking and entering charge.”

Kuroo huffed out a laugh and Hinata screeched in protest.

Kuroo looked annoyingly amused at all of this. “Come on, what’s so bad about the kid?”

Bokuto nodded in agreement, "Yeah! He’s so adorable!”

Tsukishima scoffed in an earnest display of disbelief, “Imagine this: you’re innocently sitting down and stretching during volleyball practice,” Kuroo motioned for him to go on.

“A 3-foot-tall gnome looms over you, with a shock of fiery orange hair resembling the flames of the hell from which it came, a snotty nose, and the odor of puberty, he asks you the dreaded question,"Tsukishima! Do you have any games on your phone?”

You try to scramble away before it can attach its claws to you, but it’s too late. He grabs on to your jacket and climbs you like a tree, in an attempt to incapacitate you, he swipes at your glasses. You dodge his incoming atta-"

Kuroo interrupted him with a hyena laugh, this one sounding more like it being strangled,”You sound like he’s going to end your life or something!”

Bokuto and Akaashi nod their heads simultaneously.

Tsukishima couldn’t believe Kuroo’s ignorance, he hadn’t had to suffer through over three years of this.

Added on to Hinata’s pestering, the pining done by both him and Kageyama, and their tendency to drag people to extra practice, it surely was like him trying to end Tsukishima’s life. “Because that’s what it is, Kuroo.”

Akaashi let out a genuine laugh at this, and Bokuto looked at Hinata as if that was something to be proud of.

Hinata scrambled at Tsukishima’s dramatic recount of their first meeting, and started to explain himself. “I was bored! Tsukishima looked broding too."

"Broding? Isn't it brooding?" Kuroo corrected him hesitantly.

"No! Brooding is what chickens do."

Kageyama stared at Hinata as if he was the biggest idiot to roam the Earth, and he probably was.

Wordlessly, Kageyama grabbed Hinata by the hair as he yelled out some nonsense about a diarrhea pressure point.

Tsukishima sighed, and wondered what he did to deserve this.

 


	4. Egg

After the catastrophe happened, Hinata started spreading his short people germs all over Tsukishima's keyboard. It was disgusting. Combine that with Kageyama's starry eyed kouhai behavior and the night was absolutely unbearable.

After enduring that for two whole hours, Tsukishima moved them both to his living room. He pushed a button that would hopefully mute the chat with a middle finger, a sneer, and hand sanitizer.

He shoved Kageyama and Hinata’s things out of his room, leaving Yamaguchi last. After doing all the dirty work, he made his way back to the living room.

"Don't come back, my sheets have gone through enough. Who knows where else those bodies have been." He huffed the last part under his breath.

Kageyama eyed him with distaste, "Why are you worried about us being dirty. Your poor sheets have to endure whatever it is you do at nigh-" Tsukishima slammed the door in both of their faces. His ears and neck heated up against his will as he walked back.

Yamaguchi snickered, like the annoying little rat he was. Tsukishima turned to face him, and the laughter instantly stopped.

“Why were they here?” He asked in the most non-threatening tone possible. Sweat formed on Yamaguchi’s brow. You see, when you get mad at somebody, you don’t instantly curse them out.

There is a specific art to it. You start out slow, then as you speak, or act, you get increasingly violent. If done incorrectly, all influence will be lost. Tsukishima prides himself on being efficient at this. It’s a mandatory skill when you’re surrounded by complete idiots.

“Ahh, you see Tsukki, Hinata and Kageyama may or may not have been at the same café I frequented, and I may or may not have mentioned who you were talking to, and I may or may not have accidentally maybe led them up to your room?” Yamaguchi stuttered out his excuse.

Tsukishima has bullshitted essays, he’s been put on the spot, he’s also been completely stumped. But nothing could compare to this.

All he could do was stare. Was he baffled? Angry? Surprised? After that explanation, who knows? All that’s left is the “what the fuck” in the air. Tsukishima rolled his eyes so hard he’s surprised he didn’t see his slowly decreasing brain cells. He could feel a migraine coming on.

“Yamaguchi, how do you accidentally lead somebody up here? Do you realize you said LEAD?” Tsukishima hissed out.

Yamaguchi nervously chuckled, “Aha, well, uh… you see Tsukki, they uh..."

He checked the nonexistent watch on his wrist. "Would you look at the time, Yachi and I have a date! Goodbye!” He bolted out of Tsukishima’s room, leaving behind a half-finished coffee, cookie crumbs, and Hinata’s fucking germs.

  
Tsukishima threw himself on his bed, and instantly tensed up.

Laughter. Hyena laughter.

Did he not mute the chat? He looked up so fast he’s surprised his neck didn’t snap. He didn’t. He just turned the video off. That means they heard everything. More people know of his suffering. He grabbed his pillow and screamed. Wheezing laughter, somebody was dying.

He smashed his touch pad and his screen came back up. “So, there you are, Tsukki. What happened, we thought you disconnected?”

Bokuto didn’t sound convincing at all. It wasn’t Kuroo on the floor, or Akaashi looking sympathetic. It was that damn tremor in his voice.

He narrowed his eyes, a clear sign that he wasn’t buying whatever he was doing.

Instant breakdown. “WE’RE SORRY BUT WE COULDN’T HELP BUT EAVESDROP!”

Akaashi corrected him, “Just you two idiots. I honestly feel so sorry for you Kei. I hope we can exchange more tactics.” Bokuto looked offended but kept apologizing.

During that chaos, Kuroo had gotten up and had a sleazy, perverted smile on. “So, Tsukki- “

“Don’t call me that.”

“So, Kei, what do your poor sheets go through at night?” He cocked his head to the side in a show of mock curiosity, even widening his eyes a bit for added effect. It was disgusting.

Tsukishima sputtered, he couldn’t believe Kuroo would ask something like that. He should have known from the start. Nobody with hair like that can have good intentions.

“My damn sheets don’t go through anything! I only sleep in my sheets.” That was when he realized. He took the bait.

Bokuto smacked his fist onto his palm and Kuroo perked up like a light bulb had appeared above his head. “Aha! So that’s why you’re so irritated. You don’t have a sex life!” Tsukishima instantly disconnected the video call. He blocked Kuroo just as fast.

His solid reputation. Destroyed just like that. He had new messages from I Love Receiving Ballz.

 

 **Akaashi Keiji** : TSUKKI! YOU SHOULD UNBLOCK KUROO, HES HOT AND WILL TOTALLY HELP REVIVE YOUR SEX LIFE ALONG WITH HIS TWO APPRENTICE BOYFRIENDS UNDER HIS WING!!1

 **Akaashi Keiji** : HE WILL GIVE YOU A MAGICAL NIGHT YOU WON’T FORGET!!!1!

 **THEACE** : Tsukkiiiiiiii!! Kuroo said he was sorry!!

 **dinofucker** : TELL HIM MY SEX LIFE IS NONE OF HIS DAMN BUSINESS

 **Akaashi Keiji** : I’m sorry, Kuroo took the laptop from me. Don’t unblock him. I’m sure you have a nice sex life. You’re quite attractive after all.

 

He blushed once more. It’s like they’re all effortlessly like that.

 

 **dinofucker** : It’s fine Akaashi. You and Bokuto have done nothing wrong. Tell Kuroo he’s ugly btw

 **THEACE** : DO YOU WANT A SEX TAPE WE CAN MAKE IT UP TO YOU

 **dinofucker** : NO WHAT THE FUCK

 **THEACE** : UNBLOCK ME IM BEGGING YOU

 **dinofucker** : NO

 **THEACE** : PLEASE

 **dinofucker** : NO

 **THEACE** : WHY ARE YOU SO DEFENSIVE ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE IT’S JUST SOLID PROOF THAT YOU DON’T HAVE ONE

 **dinofucker** : MY LAST DAMN SEX LIFE WAS WITH THOSE TWO IDIOTS WOULD YOU WANT TO ADMIT THAT AS WELL

 

Sent. He just sent that. Oh no. He unblocked Kuroo, and began to try to smooth out the situation.

 

 **dinofucker** : ok wait I didn T MEAN THAT

 **wetcat** : OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

 **THEACE** : OHOHO

 **Akaashi Keiji** : You and Kageyama? Hmm, I guess I could see that.

 **dinofucker** : No no no! I mean we had a few dates… And it wasn’t completely terrible, I just stopped????

 **dinfocuker** : I don’t know, every time we got remotely sexual it reminded me it was Hinata and Kageyama and it was an instant turn off

 **wetcat** : WHY WOULD YOU BE EMBARRASSED THEY’RE BOTH ATTRACTIVE

 **wetcat** : :OOOO YOU FELT INFERIOR IN YOUR LOOKS1!!!!

 **dinofucker** : If you don’t SHUT THE FUCK UP I'LL BLOCK YOUR DUMB ASS ONE MORE FUCKING TIME DON’T TEST ME

 **THEACE** : ooooooooooooooooooooo

 **Akaashi Keiji** : Kuroo, are you sure you’re one to be talking about looks?

 **wetcat** : Is it gang up on Tetsurou day? I’d just really like to know if I’m missing something :-)

 **dinofucker** : you look like the ugly samsung cat emoji

 **THEACE** : HOLY SHIT YOU ACTUALLY DO. TSUKISHIMA EXPOSE HIM :PPPP

 **dinofucker:** use the damn tongue emoji omg 

 **wetcat** : HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO A SAMSUNG EMOJI :( Im actually sad

 **dinofucker** : did I go too far?

 **wetcat** : sladjnjfbcekbabcsahfFUCK

 **Akaashi Keiji** : You broke him

 **dinofucker** : why?

 **Akaashi Keiji** : That’s the first time youve felt remorse for him

 **wetcat** : lmao no i dont really care :3P

 **dinofucker** : you know i really, really hate you.

 **THEACE** : Lmao cnt believe you annoyed him that much. im not a weirdo like u at least

 **Akaashi Keiji** : Bokuto, when you saw Tsukishima’s skype profile picture, you gushed for three damn hours about his hair alone.

 **dinofucker** : Blocked, unfollowed, unfriended. Goodbye. Akaashi, you’ll be the only one getting my phone number.

 **Akaashi Keiji** : Ahh, I’ll enjoy that. Maybe we can meet up sometime?

 **THEACE** : HEY WE’RE HIS BOYFRIENDS TOO WE NEED TO ALL MEET UP AND SORT THIS OUT!!

 **wetcat** : YEAH

 **dinofucker** : Hmmm, that’s strange there were these strange words under your message, probably just a glitch.

 **dinofucker** : I’ll pm you my number and where we can meet up.

 **dinofucker** : I’m in Tokyo for college, can I assume the same for you?

 **wetcat** : HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **Akaashi Keiji** : Weird.. the same glitch happened again. Yeah, let’s meet up. We’re all in Tokyo.

 **THEACE** : YOU CANT ERASE US!!!!

 

_Akaashi Keiji wants to chat with you._

**dinofucker** : +81-420-6969

 **Akaashi Keiji** : I’ll call you.

 

_Akaashi Keiji has left the chat._

 

 **Akaashi Keiji** : I’m so sorry, Kei.

 **Akaashi Keiji** : +81-420-6969

 **dinofucker** : I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS

 **THEACE** : TOP 10 ANIME BETRAYALS LMAOO

 **wetcat** : HOPE YOU LIKE NOODS ;)

 **dinofucker** : That’s not nearly the number of chins you have in real life. Add about 2 more -.-

 **wetcat** : YOU USED AN EMOJI

 **THEACE** : But it wasn’t a good one-

 **A** **kaashi Keiji:**  Block them both.

 

_dinofucker has changed his name to Tsukishima._

 

 **Tsukishima** : smh, I have a class to go to tomorrow. Good night, Akaashi.

 **Akaashi Keiji** : Good night, Kei. Dream of me.

 **Tsukishima** : I hope to.

 **wetcat** : WHY CAN HE DO IT BUT I CANT.

 **THEACE** : AND WHERE ARE OUR GOOD NIGTHS!???????/

 **Tsukishima** : night.

 **Tsukishima** : Sleep well.

 **wetcat** : NOW WAS THAT SO HARD??

 **THEACE** : wait its like 3am


	5. Second

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowowow park jimin is such a visual

After texting the three of them goodnight, Tsukishima finally closed his eyes, and descended into a deep sleep.

 

At least that’s what he wanted to do.

 

Apparently, he hadn’t suffered enough today.

Click.

His phone was being unlocked. But by who? He discreetly opened his eyes and saw a flash of orange hair. He saw red. How dare this 3 foot, orange Oompa Loompa looking ass gnome go through his phone?

Tsukishima grabbed the top of his head, earning a scream.

He jumped out of bed, Hinata trying to back away as best as he could, with Tsukishima having a fistful of his probably Kageyama infested hair. Disgusting.

“What the hell are you doing in my apartmeny? More importantly, what are you doing on my phone?”

 Hinata looked terrified, as he should be. “I just wanted to check if you actually had games on your phone!” Tsukishima really hadn’t suffered enough today.

 

This is the second time today that he’s been in this speechless position. Is he losing his wit? Snapping out of his shock, he grabbed Hinata by his annoying wrist and shoved his annoying body out of his still broken door.

 

He marched Hinata to his front door. For the second time, today. Knowing his friends all too well, he let him off with a nice warning. “Come back here again and you’ll be seeing the same color as your hair, you got that?” Hinata looked at him like he was the dumb one.

 

As he opened his mouth to reply, Tsukishima already figured out what he was going to say. “Isn’t it supposed to be me seeing stars? Tsukishima, has your stinginess gotten to your brain?” He had the nerve to sound genuinely concerned.

Tsukishima tugged him closer, “No. I’ll kick your ass so hard you will be seeing orange.”

Hinata gulped and immediately got into a very bad replication of a Kung-Fu starting position. Slamming the door in his face for the second time today, Tsukishima dragged himself to bed. For the second. Damn. Time.

 

After waking up at precisely 8 am like the early bird he was, Tsukishima got out of bed and started getting ready. It definitely wasn’t because he hadn’t finished his essay for his writing class prior to this.

Strangely, something that was becoming part of his daily schedule was waking up to hundreds of messages from both chats. The one populated by his teammates was understandable. But how active can three men, one of whom barely speaks in the chat, be?

If he thought yesterday was bad, apparently God hated him more than usual, because this morning, there were over 500 messages.

  
He gingerly placed his laptop into its case, zipping it up with the utmost care. After all, his computer was his life, contrary to other people his age who valued their phones more. It had all his files, all his designs, all the code for the most amazing major to ever exist. Game Design.

Self-proclaimed nerd, he was proud to be participating in this major. More importantly, everyone there knew how to handle themselves, had similar interests, and had unique goals and aspirations.

  
He grabbed a jacket just in case he needed it and briskly walked out of his apartment building. It’s currently sweltering and there’s no way he’s walking right now, no matter how short the distance. He decided to sit in at the coffee shop nearby instead of going straight to his campus.

It’s not like he’s a slow walker, unlike over half of the people at his college. Just thinking of those kinds of people made Tsukishima die inside, reminiscing about his crowded high school hallways.

He crossed the street, narrowly missing a car. He doesn’t know if he wanted to be hit or not. Anything for the sweet release of death. He sped up his walking a bit, not so much that he looked like an old woman, but at the least he looked busy. He closed in on the shop, which made him brighten just a bit more.

He opened the door with his laptop in hand, making way for the most obscure table. Suga worked here, and that meant he was “accidentally” served free coffee more than once.

Speak of the devil, or well, angel, and he shall appear.

 

Suga stepped out from behind the counter, looking as joyous as ever. “So, Kei, how have you been?” He tried starting up a casual conversation, as if he hadn’t been spamming the chat with weird ass emojis. He and Kuroo got along well. Too well.

Tsukishima narrowed his eyes at him, and Suga continued talking without sparing him the slightest of glances.

It wasn’t a surprise, Suga was the human embodiment of calmness, it was only a matter of time before he got the hang of Tsukishima’s glares. And by a matter of time he means he very first time Suga was on the receiving end of said look.

Tsukishima decided to be straight-forward and ask the itching question. “Has my name been in your mouth during the past 72 hours, Suga-senpai?”

  
Suga paused for a moment to think over what he was going to say, and answered,”Technically, I haven’t said your name.” Tsukishima must have looked completely unimpressed, because Suga let out a chuckle.

His entire body shook as his laughter increased. People were starting to look over, he had to stop hanging out with these people.

“Did you tell Kuroo anything about me?” Suga eyed him with a devious look, and he immediately got his answer. Deciding that this conversation would only embarrass him, he started up his laptop and began typing his essay, while Suga walked away.

  
Finishing that essay was a pain, it took about an hour, which isn’t that bad when it comes to the usual time but just editing something so boring can really make a mental toll.

It was about 9:15, his first lecture starts at 9:45. They had someone coming in today, apparently, they were big in the video game business.

Hopefully they wouldn’t go on about “believing in yourself” and “trying your hardest” because as important as those things are, they won’t magically produce sensible code, original characters, and all the other necessities.

Tsukishima needed cold, hard facts. Tips from experience, even if that experience wasn’t your own, the outcome can be a major helping factor. Like that one Wikihow article that taught him how to get an emo fringe.

  
He packed his things up and left, but not before getting a free coffee from Suga on his way out. Nodding his head in silent thanks, Tsukishima made his way to class. It wasn’t that long of a walk, but being lazy and tired aren’t the best combinations for a morning. He walked past the crosswalk where he nearly died, then his apartment building, and then Kuroo and Bokuto.

 

Wait. One thing is not like the others.

 

What the hell were they doing on his route to school? More importantly, why were they dressed as models? What was weird is that they seriously looked good.

Kuroo was going on with a Versace on Gucci outfit. His shirt looked like it costed thousands, it was silk and gave off a 90’s feel. Kuroo's jeans managed to look expensive as well, which was strange considering jeans all looked the same to him.

Bokuto was sporting full Gucci, with a bomber jacket on a black sweater. He had on these tight pants that accentuated his thighs. Maybe he really enjoyed squats.

 

It looked like they hadn’t noticed him yet, now he had to try not to jinx it. He was about to go the other way when they suddenly turned towards him, Bokuto’s face being overcome by a large grin, and Kuroo’s smirk coming to life. This was it, the worst thing to happen to him. Deciding that there was no way in hell that he would talk to those two, he bolted.

 

Without turning back, he took a longer route to his campus, leaving him less time to get to class but no time to talk to Kuroo and Bokuto. He skidded to his seat, glad to see nobody at the front of the room.

Amidst the chatter, he took out his laptop for the second damn time.

Someone walked into the room about then, but he paid them no mind and began to set his computer up for the strenuous tasks it was about to go through.

 

“Alright guys, settle down!” Why was that voice so familiar? Tsukishima slowly raised his head, and he nearly fainted. There stood in all their expensive glory, were Kuroo and Bokuto. The demons.

He caught Bokuto’s eye, and it was obvious that neither of them knew they would meet like this. Looks like his exercise went to waste. He didn’t plan to run again.

Tsukishima ducked his head and prayed to the heavens above that he wouldn’t be picked on, looked at, or even noticed again. How do these kinds of odds match up, what kind of Mandela Effect bullshit decided to happen in his life?

 

Kuroo and Bokuto were apparently the high level workers at a company called Owlish. Tsukishima had bought games from them multiple times, they were always amazing. There was the occasional flounder but nothing below three stars. Now that he knew who made them he should get on Yelp soon.

He should’ve expected this. There’s no way that those two idiots could survive and not be rich, secret geniuses, or really good at denying reality.

Turns out that they’re all three. He wondered if Akaashi was a part of their business, or if he did something in a different branch.

It was perfectly plausible, since he didn’t come with them today. His train of thought was interrupted by sudden silence that overtook the class.

 

Kuroo began the lesson.

 

What a word combination.


	6. Relevant Chapter Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been updating anything because school has been hounding me. I GOT SLAMMED WITH FREAKING TRIPLE MATH CLASSES(2 OF THE SAME CLASSES AS WELL??), TWO MORE HONORS CLASSES, and one chill class. NOBODY HAS CHANGED MY SCHEDULE AND SCHOOL STARTED NEARLY A MONTH AGO. I GO TO BED AT FREAKING 12AM - 2AM TO WAKE UP AT 6:30AM EVERY MORNING BECAUSE I GET HOMEWORK EVERY DAY FROM ALL THREE OF THOSE MATH CLASSES AND ONE OF THOSE HONORS CLASSES. AT THIS POINT IM ONLY HALF SCARED OF THAT HURRICANE COMING AT FLORIDA BECAUSE AT LEAST ILL GET SOME REST AHJQBEFJHRWBFEHJBVW 
> 
> Haikyuu, BTS, and Youtube have been my foundation throughout all this. Sorry for the mediocre chapters, haven't gotten the hang of writing yet. Be patient with me, bless. Unbeta'd as always :))

Kuroo began the lesson.

 

His eyes scanned the room, before resting on the student in front of Tsukishima. Terushima, at least that's what everyone calls him, is a party man. He's energetic, a mood-maker, and has someone hanging off his well-built arms every second of the day. He hadn’t changed much since high school 

 

Terushima perked up at the sudden attention from Kuroo, and gave him a waggle of his eyebrows. "Could you give me a fundamental part of making it in the video game industry? Don't give me anything generic, alright?" Kuroo finished off with a friendly smile, or as friendly as he could look with the whole emo cat thing going on.

Tsukishima internally rolled his eyes. It looks like they were going all out with this teaching thing. It's such a shame that Tsukishima knows that Kuroo is wearing underwear with holes at the back.

 

Before he could sulk some more about his two harassers, despite Bokuto doing nothing, Terushima yelled out his answer. "The fundamentals are money, creativity, and a lot of ass eating, Sir.” Bokuto coughed a poorly disguised laugh, and the lecture room broke out in chuckles. One good thing about Terushima, he made a fool out of any and every teacher.

This class will definitely be an interesting one. Kuroo is witty, it's like his dick gets hard every time he makes someone angry. Tsukishima wouldn't put it past him.

  
Kuroo's eye twitched, and he put on another ugly- friendly smile. "I don't have to check with other professionals to know you just said something dumb as shit. Try again with more appropriate terms, angry bird." Terushima blanched, it's obvious that teachers, much less a substitute, wouldn't even give him the light of day.

Tsukishima leaned back, and raised his hand. Kuroo's eyes followed the movement, before widening once he realized who raised the hand.

 

It looked like he took a double, no, make that a triple, take before acknowledging him. "Tsukishima, how funny is it meeting you here?"

 

What the hell did he think he was doing? Tsukishima gave him a clear look which meant 'shut the fuck up you failed Pokemon'. Nobody needs to know that he knew them, he asked for educational exposure, what is this? Kuroo waved his hand in a frantic motion, clearly mocking him, the ugly bastard.

 

"Do I need to repeat my question? It's such a coincidence that we're meeting here of all the places. This is the first time I've seen you!" He was being sarcastic, it was so damn obvious. Tsukishima was fuming, he slammed his hands on his desk.

 

Making sure to to look him straight in the eye, Tsukishima gave him his answer,"It's very funny, but the thing is," Tsukishma took a short pause, "I don't know who you are."

 

Bokuto decided that this was a good time to interfere, and quickly distracted everyone with a slideshow on their most recent game's creation process. Both him and Kuroo made their ways over to Tsukishima's desk, one looking confused and the other looking extremely offended. 

 

Kuroo was the first to arrive, and he immediately started off at rapid speed, "What do you mean you don't know us? Have we been talking to the wrong person? Is there more than one Tsukishima Kei at this school? Where is he?" Bits of spit, germs, and an aura of pure irritation were now all over Tsukishima.

He gave Kuroo a bored look, and checked his imaginary watch.

If anything, that seemed to make Kuroo angrier, as he started talking faster and louder. People were starting to look over, this had to stop.

 

Bokuto still couldn't deem it a safe time to interject, so the poor guy was stuck behind an angry Kuroo. Tsukishima's thoughts couldn't help but wonder to who the most quiet one in their relationship was.

Bokuto has the most muscular body, but he takes shit from Akaashi and Kuroo all the time. The solution is obviously to pick them up and move them far away.

Even now, he's sitting behind Kuroo, spaced out, and hands presses to his temples.

 

"Are you finished yet? Your boyfriend wants to talk." Kuroo suddenly jumped, as if he just remembered that Bokuto existed. He turned to him and sheepishly gestured for him to speak.

 

Bokuto looked way too happy, so he was either going to say something incredibly stupid or entirely irrelevant. "I have a theory!"

Something incredibly stupid it is.

"Tsukishima has temporary amnesia! I mean, he looks the same. Blonde hair, mean eyes, large eye bags, big glasses. Nobody could look like more of a nerd."

Kuroo slammed his fist down on his palm, in the iconic gesture of "I've Got It!".

 

"You're right! Nobody could forget handsome faces like ours anyway." Tsukishima couldn't believe his ears, it seemed that the only reason Bokuto was fine with being quiet is because he and Kuroo had the same mind.

How are they so successful?

 

"Yes, I'm the Tsukishima you guys talked to on Skype, no I have not lost my memory, and please don't expose our acquaintance." Bokuto seemed to have caught on to what Tsukishima was trying to say and by the smirk he was giving him he wasn't going to put that knowledge to good use.

 

Bokuto grabbed Kuroo's arm and dragged him away. He leaned over and whispered in his ear in a conspicuous way, just to make sure Tsukishima could hear every word, "Tsukki is totally into us, bro! He doesn't want anyone to know that WE know each other cause it'll be too obvious!" He ended his (very wrong) explanation with a proud pat to his chest.

 

What made the situation even worse was the fact that Kuroo was eating up every wretched word coming out of that owl's mouth.

 

Kuroo walked back to the front of the class, now with confidence in his strides and and Bokuto bouncing happily beside him. Tsukishima hopes they both trip over their expensive shoes.

 

As soon as he got to the professor's desk, Kuroo began to speak to the class. Tsukishima didn't bother checking in, it was probably something irrelevant as always."Your professor has left us in charge of this class, and has appointed his best student to help us. Tsukishima Kei, get up here you filthy rascal!" Tsukishima's head snapped up as soon as he heard his name.

 

That damn professor.


	7. Rolex Shinier than Saitama's Head

Tsukishima slowly eased out of his seat, still silently in shock. All his mind could run back to was helping Yamaguchi. What sane person would help a mysterious child crying in the dirt on a coincidentally stormy and dark day? Tsukishima Kei apparently.

He still hadn't learned his lesson because history repeated itself and now he's helped - you guessed it - three more strangers.

 

Sighing, Tsukishima made his way to the front of the lecture room, his laptop in tow. He couldn't help but play out a scenario of beating Kuroo's ass in his head. It wouldn't make a difference. Tsukishima could replace him in his relationship with Akaashi and Bokuto if he coincidentally was in the area when Kuroo died. With these thoughts in his head, a small smile graced Tsukishima's face as he made his way up to the podium.

Kuroo playfully scowled,"Took you long enough to get here! My hairs were wilting." Tsukishima quickly kicked him in the shin, before turning to address everyone else.

"Alright, everybody," Tsukishima put on a fake smile,"I'll be helping these two idiots-- I mean these two men with this lesson on the process of Video Game fundamentals. Point 1: Don't be a cheap fucking dumbass." He turned to look pointedly at Kuroo,"For example, don't sacrifice underwear for video games."

Terushima voiced his (irrelevant)take on Tsukishima's pointer, " Why does it sound like this has happened before?" He seemed to be thinking hard about what he just said. "Actually, I would do this nevermind."

Bokuto cleared his throat, "Ah, yes! What Tsukishima means is that budgeting is very important. You don't want to invest millions into advertising and then have a bad game." Multiple students nodded their heads, seeming to have forgotten Tsukishima's poor introduction. Bokuto heaved a sigh of relief, and turned to Tsukishima to give him a look. It wasn't your average look. It was a "shut up or i'll make you" look.

Now, Tsukishima weighed his options. Option 1: Find out what he'd do if he didn't shut up (which he won't because he's not a little bitch). Option 2: Give in and help this lecture go smo-

Tsukishima's train of thought was interrupted when he saw Bokuto flexing his arm. He took the hint and sat down in the professor's seat nearby. Kuroo's annoying chuckles accompanied him on the way there. Deciding he had nothing better to do, Tsukishima pulled out his phone and started texting the regular groupchat.

 

_Tsukishima has logged on to I Love Receiving Ballz._

 

 **Tsukishima** : hello you ugly fuckers

 **Kags** : who are you calling ugly 6 inch forehead

 **Hinatoe** : LEVAE US ALONE OR ILL SICK SUGA SENPAI ON U AGAIIN

 **wearingucci** : TSUKKI! PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS!!!!

 **Tsukishima** : I CAN'T

 **Tsukishima** : Also i measured and my forehead is only 6cm it's only my hair you angry blueberry fuck

 **wearingucci**  : WHY CANT YOU PAY ATTENTION

 **Tsukishima** : you won't believe me.

 **Tsukishima** : Also, stop yelling at me.

 **wearingucci** : idc ill believe you tell me right this instant

 **Tsukishima** : Kuroo and Bokuto are teaching here.

 **Hinatoe** : WHaT?!?!?!! why cant u concentrate stingyshima lolololo ure learnign from two geiniuses

 **Tsukishima** : One day I'm going to get my hands on you, Hinata.

 **Kags** : You lost that privilege what are you trying to do to my boyfriend

 **Tsukishima** : I'm going to beat his ass tf are you goin to do about it

 **Kags** : Absolutely nothing

 **Tsukishima** : Ok thats what I thought

 **Kags** : Because we all know youre lying and you secretly love Hinata like all of us smdh

 **wearingucci** : SKSJDF NO WAY WOW NOBODY KNEW THAT!!! :))

 **wearingucci** : anyway,, you know tsukki, you've dished out the weirdest excuses for not doing schoolwork but this is the best one YET!

 **Kags** : Dont let him fool you Tadashi. He's secretly stupid

 **Akaashi Keiji** : Actually, they went to a college to speak about their game creations... was it yours?

 **Tsukishima** : yes.

 **wearingucci** : AKAASHI YOU DIDNT COME IN THE CHAT TILL TSUKISHIMA EXPRESSED BEING THE SLIGHTEST BIT UNVOMFORTABLE WHAT DOES THIS MEAN HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

 **Suga** : do i smell a relationship?

 **Tsukishima** : Yamaguchi shut up before I expose your ass. Just lemme add yachi real quick ok? :)

 **wearingucci** : NO STOP

 **Akaashi Keiji** : Are they giving you any trouble?

 **Tsukishima** : No, but Bokuto was lowkey aggressive with me and idk how to feel about that.

 **Akaashi Keiji** : Honestly, I feel the same way. He acts so weak but then you see his body and realize his thighs could crush your skull.

 **Kags** : What is your skull doing anywhere near his thighs

 **Tsukishima** : NONE OF YOR FUCKIGN BUSINESS

 

_Hinatoe has changed his username to Hina._

 

 **Hina** : TSUKSHIMA MADE A TYPO FOR ONCE!! TOBIO KEEP GOIGN

 **Tsukishima** : Since when are you two on first name basis

 

_Kags has left the chat._

_Suga has added Kags to the chat._

 

 **Suga** : I need everyone here to stock up on drama and blackmail. Leave again and youll regret it.

 **Tsukishima** : Why arent any of your owners here

 **Suga** : Excuse me?

 **Tsukishima** : nothing................................................................

 **Suga** : Anywayyyy, they're all at some volleyball event. Idk when Daichi's future became more important than me but OK

 **Hina** : but..

 **Hina** : didnt i her you guys talkin bout how you wer planning on getting marrieed idk it sonds ike yu guyz hve it all planned out

 **Tsukishima** : Why won't you type properly

 **Hina** : So I can finally make you go blind

 **Tsukishima** : WHAT

 **Hina** : lolol oNOTHIGN STINGYSHIMA

 **Kags** : shoyo your mission is nearly complete today he went into college section of the institution instead of the middle school

 **Suga** : Ok this is going to turn into a fight so ill be inviting my tea buddies ASAP

 **Akaashi Keiji** : Tea buddies sounds so ominous...yet preppy. I don't understand.

 **Tsukishima** : SJFC EVERYONE LEAVE THE CHAT BEFORE HE DOES IT

 

_Suga has added YourKing to I Love Receiving Ballz._

 

 **YourKing** : OH! WHAT A QUAINT CHAT. YOU HAVE ALL BEEN BLESSEED BY MY BEAUTIFUL PRESENCE ON THIS FINE DAY HOHOHOOHOH

 

_Tsukishima has removed YourKing from I Love Receiving Ballz._

_Suga has added YourKing to I Love Receiving Ballz._

 

 **YourKing** : Now,, as I was going to say before I was RUDELY INTERRUPTED

 **Tsukishima** : I don't regret it. It was for the greater good of this chat.

 **YourKing** : I will not tolerate this slander!!!!!

 **Kags** : Y are you talking like that

 **YourKing** : You and Kei are acting like you both didnt have crushes on me in highschool smh

 **Akaashi Keiji** : Who is this.

 **wearingucci** : OH I SEE

 **YourKing** : Oh?

 **YourKing** : IS THIS WHY YOU ADDED ME?? THIS IS GREAT OMG

 **Akaashi Keiji** : I just don't know who you are. Why are you two escalating the situation?

 **wearingucci** : THERE WAS NEVER A SITUATION TO BEGIN WITH THOO

 **Suga** : EXACTLY! I KNEW YOU WERE MY FAVORITE TEAM MEMBER FOR A REASON!!

 **Hina** : EXCUSE MEE

 **Kags** : YOU SAID YOU DDINT FAVOR ANYBODY

 **Tsukishima** : As expected.

 **Suga** : CHEER UP GUYS!! YOU ALL COME IN A CLOSE SECOND

 **Tsukishima** : Thats mathematically impossible.

 **Suga** : Stfu four eyes

 **Suga** : Anyways,,

 **YourKing** : KEI I TOLD YOU TO SWITCH TO CONTACTS AGES AGO

 **YourKing** : You should be taking advice from me. I destroyed your team AND im extremely handsome ;)

 **Tsukishima** : where

 **Akaashi Keiji** : I'm still very lost here..

 **Tsukishima** : This is Oikawa.

 **YourKing** : Dont forget it!!

 **Tsukishima** : He was born in the Tokyo Dump and crawled his way out.

 **Tsukishima** : After watching Daichi play, it inspired him to become an amazing volleyball player.

 **Tsukishima** : Didn't work out though

 **YourKing** : THAT IS NOT CORRECT

 **Akaashi Keiji** : Thank you, Kei.

 **Kags** : Tell that to our medals

 **Hina** : YEAH TEL THAT TO TOUR MEDALS!!!!!1

 **YourKing** : We'll see about this!

 

_Your King has added youknowihadto, doittoem, and Iwaizumi to I Love Receiving Ballz._

 

 **YourKing** : why do u all have long ass names smhd

 **Iwaizumi** : Tooru is this your doing

 

_doitoem's username has been changed to Mattsun._

_youknowihadto's username has been changed to Makki._

_Iwaizumi's username has been changed to Iwa._

_Akaashi Keiji's username has been changed to Keiji._

_ROLLINTHUNDER's username has been changed to Noya._

 

 **Mattsun** : THESE ARE QUALITY ASS NAMES WHO DID THIS

 **Makki** : take me out

 **Tsukishima** : LMAOOO

 **YourKing** : STOP

 **Iwa** : you deserve it.

 **YourKing** : :(

 **Iwa** : ...

 **YourKing** : :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

 **Iwa** : Apologize.

 **Makki** : WAPOOSHII !

 **Mattsun** : WHIPPED

 **Tsukishima** : YOU GUYS DIDNT EVEN DO IT RIGHT

 **Keiji** : Can u tell Kuroo and Bokuto to get on their phones

 **wearingucci** : ok so now i see that the longer time a person spends in this chat the more their gramatical capacities decrease

 **Tsukishima** : Are you telling me Hinata can get worse

 **Hina** : U LITERALY HAVE MADE SO MANY TYPOS I CANT CUNT THEM

 **Suga** : WHEN EVERYBODY IS IN THE CHAT ILL INTRODUCE PEOPLE NOW TALK AND BECOME ACQUAINTED.

 **Tsukishima** : I'm telling Daichi you're doing this

 **Suga** : what will u gain from it

 **Tsukishima** : A lot

 **Daichi** : Huh?? Why did Tsukishima call me while I'm at AN IMPORTANT EVENT.

 **Noya** : ALL YOU DID WAS LOOK AT PICTURES OF VOLLEYBALLS THE ENTIRE TIME

 **Suga** : DAICHI YOU HAVE REGAINED MY LOVE -heart heart heart-

 **Tsukishima** : Just use the damn heart emoji wtf is wrong with you people

 **Hina** : lasst time i checked we coud do what WE WANT INT THIS CHAT1!!!!!!!

 **Tsukishima** : ...i have nothing to say to that actually..

 **Asahi** : I've had this chat on mute the entire time but I just got notifications?

 **Noya** : ASAHII

 **Asahi** : hi noya ^^

 **wearingucci** : WOW OKAY

 **Makki** : wow this asahi dude is basically a ghost in the chat

 **Noya** : LEAVE HIM ALONE >>:((

 **YourKing** : I'm looking through the chat participants and I see people im not acquainted with

 **Suga** : WHAT DID I JUST DAMN SAY

 **YourKing** : YOU JUST DAMN SAID YOU WOULD INTRODUCE WHEN EVERYONE WS THERE

 **Suga** : NSD THREE PPL ARE NOT HERE

 **Mattsun** : Roast his ass smdh

 **Makki** : Lmao imagine Oikawa being roasted like chicken

 **Mattsun** : Morbid but favorable

 **Hina** : adsanbc where is tanaka

 **Iwa** : Tanaka? The one that looks like Buddha?

 **Daichi** : Basically, yes.

 **Suga** : did you guys fucking leave him

 **Daichi** : ..Now that I think about it.. I dont see anyone but Asahi

 **Noya** : GOTTA BLAST

 **callmesenpai** : I am abiding to important business!!!

 **Daichi** : Literally what do you do except scream

 **callmesenpai** : who saved your ass in our last game SAWAMURA

 **Daichi** : ...

 **Daichi** : you did.

 **wearingucci** : tsuki with u being smart and all i would have thought youd have sense to tell ur bfs that their other bf is confused and their other bf isnt explaining and they need TO GET THEIR ASSES IN HERE

 **Tsukishima** : So many things wrong in that sentence and so many things to be offended by...alright...................

 **wearingucci** : so many eclipses

 **Tsukishima** : *ELLIPSES ARE ONLY THREE DOTS

 **Kags:**  shut up NERD

 **Hina** : yeah, NERD

 

Tsukishima stalked over to where Kuroo and Bokuto were hovering over a student, "The group chat is in chaos, only you guys can save it." Bokuto wore the most shit eating grin on his face as he turned around, and he jabbed Kuroo with his elbow.

"If you just wanted us to talk to you guys you could've just said so!" Bokuto said too loudly.

Kuroo followed suit, with a stride in his step. "Yeah, if you and Keiji missed us you could've just said so!"

Tsukishima rolled his eyes and went back to the professor's chair.

 

 **wetcat** : hey its meee guyz

 **THEACE** : yo yo yo

 **Tsukishima** : what the fuck are you guys saying

 **Keiji** : what

 **Suga** : damn i didnt know i was in 2003

 **Kags** : gross

 **Hina** : WOW SO COOL YOYOYO

 **Makki** : wtf are you guys on

 **Mattsun** : Imma need you two to RETRACT those statements

 **wetcat:**  STOP BEING MEAN TO ME

 **THEACE** : I JST JSIAD SOMETING WITH 6 LETTERS

 **THEACE** : SIX!! (6)!!!!!! 六!!!!!!!

 **Makki** : oo he trilignual :Ppppp

 **Tsukishima** : DO YOU GUYS NOT USE EMOJIS

 **Iwa** : dont encourage the behavior

 **wearingucci** : why not??? emojis are cute!

 **Kags** : why is everyone talking so strangely?!?!!

 **Mattsun** : ooo he got that advanced voCABularry

 **wearingucci** : IMWEHEZING

 **wetcat** : ANYWAAAAAAAAAAAAYS, WE WERE HEAR BECAUSE SUGA WONT SGIVE U GUYS RECEIPTZ

 **Suga** : Im going to block you if you continue with this rogue behavior

 **THEACE** : LOLOLOL

 **Keiji** : it was the best decision i made y'know

 **Keiji** : to block him once

 **wetcat:**  Im your boyfriend of over 4 years RESPECT ME

 **THEACE** : kuroo u sound tyroneical

 **Tsukishima** : can i cry??

 **Suga** : IM GOING TO EXPLAIN NOW

 **Suga** : ME TSUKI DAICHI ASAHI NOYA TANAKA KAGS AND HINATA WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER

 **Suga** : BOKUTO AKAASHI AND KUROO HAVE A 2-3 YEAR AGE GAP WITH TSUKKI SO THAT MEANS THAT THEY SHOULD BE IN GRADUATE SCHOOL AT LEAST,,

 **Suga** : KUROO AND BOKUTO U GUYS WERE LOWKEY POPULAR IN THE VOLLEYBALL COMMUNITY CORRECT?

 **wetcat** : CORRECT

 **THEACE** : HIGHKEY POPULAR

 **Suga** : SO HINATA AND KAGEYAMA KNOW U GUYS AND THEN YAMAGUCHI FOUND OUT ABOUT U THRU THEM

 **Suga** : KEIJI WAS ALWAYS FREINDS WITH YOU GUYS BUT WAS MORE INVESTED IN THE TECHNICAL SIDE OF DOING THINGS

 **Suga** : YOU GUYS WENT TO FUKURODANI HIGH SCHOOL!

 **Suga** : OIKAWA MAKKI MATTSUN AND IWA ARE FROM SEIJOU,, WE KICKED THEIR ASSES

 **YourKing** : NO YOU DIDNT STFU

 **YourKing** : YOU WON BY CHANCE

 **Iwa** : not gonna be biased... but he had an injured knee and still nearly beat you guys

 **Makki** : ooooooooo

 **Mattsun** : -frog sipping tea-

 **Tsukishima** : I didn't dislocate my finger in the match YOU WISH YOU HAD for this slander.

 **Suga** : ANYWHO,,,AFTER THE GROUP CHAT WAS MADE, I ACQUAINTED MYSELF WITH EVERYBODY!

 **wetcat** : How did you know all that

 **THEACE** : creepy

 **Keiji** : This explains a bit more. Especially the rivalry you guys seem to have going on?

 **Kags** : It's not a rivalry if youve already won!

 **Hina** : Egsactly!

 **Tsukishima** : why does your height equate to the number of brain cells you have

 **YourKing** : @iwachan

 **Iwa** : WHAT

 **Hina** : Don't say anything when we both know my real objective~~~

 **Tsukishima** : wtf this is the second time wth are you up to

 **Kags** : Hinata is smarteer than you think ;)

 **wearingucci** : Is that why he stole tsukkis contacts and stuck them to the mirror because thats where his eyes were

 **Tsukishima** : I always knew you were a good friend

 **Makki** : this chat is the best omf

 **Mattsun** : dont take us out ok??

 **Noya** : YOU GUYS WONT BELEIVE WHAT I JUS SAW TANAKA DOING

 **Daichi** : Im breathless and in need of water

 **Hina** : WHAT

 **Makki** : Did he grow hair

 **Noya** : HE JUST PARKOURED OFF A BULDING TO AVOID COPS

 **Hina** : OMG RLLYI WANNA TRY 2!

 **Kags** : NO

 **Suga** : NO

 **Daichi** : NO

 **Tsukishima** : dont forget to put your foot on the wall

 **wetcat** : youll be the first man to fly!

 **THEACE** : THE FLYING GIANT

 **Keiji** : STOP T HIS NONSENSE

 **Hina** : HIS FIRST TYPO OMG!!!!!

 **Tsukishima** : And so it begins.


	8. Hap noo yer

**Tsukishima** : Happy New Yeare verybof

 **wetcat:** holy shit you’re becoming illiterate just like the rest of us

 **Tsukishima:** shut up I just woke up

 **YourKing:** AND YOU THOUGHT OF US FIRST OMG UR SO SWEET

 **Tsukishima:** no I didn’t 

 **Hina:** :pp. Smells like a lover in denial

 **Tsukishima:** DIDNT know u could smell with your tongue but alrite

 **YourKing:** how’d u know it’s a tongue

 **Kags:** shut up my boyfriend is a genius

 **wetcat:** omg y’all are dating!?!!

 **Tsukishima:** wow the dumbass exposed himself lmfao I gotta text Yamaguchi 

 **Makki:** I AM UP

 **Mattsun** : HOW LONG THOO

 **wearingucci:** did you guys stop using ur eyes for the past year, I swear they had heart eyes since day one 

 **Hina:**  LOOK WHAT YOU DID KAGEYAMA

 **Kags:**  Who is hinata shoyo is that a sauce

**Makki:**

 

 **Makki:** boy if you don't get your 'im emotionally constipated and im friendless', iq smaller than yo dick headass out of this chat

 **wearingucci:** roast his ass 

 **wearingucci:** u kno damn well you guys arent discreet in the LEAST

 **Tsukishima** : WHY ARE YOU USING ME AS A MEME

 **wetcat:** sir you ARE a meme

 **wetcat:** embrace it

 **Mattsun:** im never showering again i lost the opportunity to roast the angry setter kid 

 **Tsukishima:**  it's ok, ive calculated that hinata and kageyama are dumbasses 79.997% of the day

 **Tsukishima:** including during sleep, of course.

 **Hina:** ok the fac t tht u calcullated tht pruves u hve no LIFE !!!

 **Hina:** me n kageyama GRIND!! day by day in the GIM!! XXX NO XXX TIME FOR HATErZ!!!

 **Daichi:** so is everybody going to ignore the fact that its' may?

 **Makki:** shut up bitch time doesnt exist

 

_YourKing has changed Mattsun's name to matsukawaii._

 

 **matsukawii:** bitch what did u DO

 **Makki:** mattsun u sound like a weeb. im blockin u lol

 **Tsukishima:** It's best im not associated with people like you. I'm blocking as well

 **YourKing:** DAMN. You love me o mucb u wanna BE ME. U wanna BE japanese. always knew u were like this

 **matsukawaii:** well,,,,

 

_matsukawaii has changed YourKing's name to clogs._

 

 **Hina:** EWEWEWEWEWE

 **Kags:** now u ugly on the outside and inside

  **Daichi:** clogs can be fashionable it just depends on how u wear them

 **Tsukishima:** Lowkey though-

 **Tsukishima:** Daichi is right.

 **matsukawaii:** ur a dumbass,,, its lowkey tho***

 **Makki:** king weaboo makki  <333 correct my grammar senpai

 **matsukawaii:** I AM JAPANESE 

 **clogs:** so it's real;y gotten to that stage, huh 

 **Iwa:** what have i woken up to

 **Iwa:** im going back to bed

 **clogs:** no mattsun is a weeb now. come beat his ass

 **Iwa:** ??? he's done nothing wrong

 **clogs:** YOU CHOP MY NECK INTO MEXICO FOR INHALING TOO LOUD AND THIS BDIXVJKJDKF

 **Iwa:** I don't speak broke bitch. anyway,,, good night

 **matsukawaii:** oikawa ill get him mad at me if u give me admin :3(thats a kiss)

 **clogs:** rlly??

 **matsukawaii:** yes ;)

 

_matsukawaii is now an admin._

 

_clogs has been kicked from I Love Receiving Ballz._

 

_matsukawaii has changed their username to Mattsun._

 

 **Hina:** wow is this whut we lern in class. like,,,, whats i called

 **Hina:** over throu of pooewr

 **Kags:** what

 **Hina:** LIKE,,,, U KNO WHEN PPL AR ANGERY AT THE GOV AND THE RIOT N SHIT

 **Kags:** U SPELT ANGRY WRONF

 **Kags:** U A DUMBASS

 **Tsukishima:**  "u a dumbass" 

 **Tsukishima:** Kageyama: has an iq of 0.8

**Tsukishima:**

 

 **Makki:** DAMN

 **Kags:** leave me alone!!1 im tired of y0u!!

 **Kags:** ugly ass

 **wetcat:** hi everybody

 **THEACE:** good morning!!!!!!! i am fed and well rested

 **Akaashi Keiji:** Good Morning.

 **Tsukishima:** Good morning :)

 **Hina:** WHIIPPED

 **Makki:** WAPOOSHU

 **Mattsun:** WAPPOOSHI

 **Tsukishima:** YOU DID IT WRONG.

 **Tsukishima:** AND ALL I SAID WAS GOOD MORNING LEAVE ME ALONE!

 **Kags:** Are you MAD?

 **Makki:** He's mad cause his hairline nonexistent

 **wetcat:** OHMYOGDSF

 **THEACE:** WELL,,,

 **THEACE:** sorry Tsukki

 **Akaashi Keiji:** Kei has already stated that his forehead is at the regular size for somebody at his age, meaning he has yet to go bald. Unlike "Makki", who's humor is equivalent to that of a 12 year old.

 **Tsukishima:** Everybody but Akaashi is FAKE!

 **Tsukishima:** Yamaguchi is probably somewhere with Yachi when his lizard powers should've activated so he knew I was in trouble.

 **Iwa:** I thought Oikawa was online because so many notifications were coming in.

 **Iwa:** where is he?

 **Mattsun:** lmfao i kicked him

 **Iwa:** i should drop kick your ass of this team ADD HIM BACK

 **Mattsun:** YOU ARE NOT THE CAPTAIN!

 **Makki:** Oikawa is smart enough to make his own decisions u cannot kick ppl off this team!!!!

 

_Suga has added Oikawa Tooru to I Love Receiving Ballz._

 

_Suga has changed Oikawa Tooru's name to clogs._

 

 **Suga:** anyway,,

 **clogs:** omg thank u

 **clogs:** wat did i miss other than makki being an ass

 **Makki:** MATTSUN IS THE ONE WHO KICKED YOU

 **clogs:** it doesnt matter u guys look the same

 **Mattsun:** ???????????????????

 **Kags:** ????????????????????????

 **Hina:** ???????????????????????????????????

 **Tsukishima:** ??????????????????????????????????

 **Daichi:** ???????????????????????????????????????????????

 **Suga:** ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 **Iwa:** it's true tho

 **Iwa:** i heard hanging out with people more can make u look and act like them

 **clogs:** that must explain why ure always around me iwaizumi   <3

 **Iwa:** kick him back out

 **Daichi:**   Can u all act mature for once

 **wetcat:** DAICHI

 **wetcat:** MY MAN

 **wetcat:**  adult life is the time for maturity. it is college now

 **Suga:** hes right

 **Suga:**  college is he time for worying about grades and a unclear future

 **Tsukishima:** Damn, you really need to worry about your grades with spelling like that.

 **Suga:** excuse me?

 **Suga:** unlike u i was out checking ppl that scouted me for volleyball. wht wer u doing last night? probably crying over some emo singer

 **Tsukishima:** STOP STALKING ME.

 **Hina:** Can I add a friend in here???

 **Kags:**  k

 

_Hina has added Kenma to I Love Receiving Ballz._

 

 **Kenma:** what

 **wetcat:** OMG KENMAMAAA

 **wetcat:** YOU THREATENDED ME WHEN I WS GONNA ADD U IN THIS CHAT WHY CAN THEY DO IT

 **Kenma:** cause theyre good people Kuro

 **wetcat:** and im a bad person??

 **Akaashi Keiji:** yes

 **THEACE:** yes

 **Tsukishima:** yup

 **Hina:** mhm

 **Kags:** yes

 **clogs:** yes

 **wetcat:** When I Die Then You Will See.

 **Suga:** YALL OWNT BELIEVE WHAAT I FOUND TODAY

 **Kags:** what is it?

 **Suga:** ifound tsukishimas dry ass wig in wamart

 **Hina:** I KNEW IT!!

 **Kags:** fr real!!

 **Kags:** have yall seen hs hairline?? premature hairloss headass lmaooooo

 **Tsukishima:** ...

 **Tsukishima:** anyway

 **Kenma:** suga what are you doing here? arent you like 50?

 **Kenma:** not 2 be rude :3

 **YourKing:** -skull emoji- -skull emoji-

 **Kenma:** no because your hair is gray and you have a wart

 **Kenma:** also that skin...

 **Suga:** it is a strategically placed beauty mark!!! god took good care of me!

 **Suga:** fuck u its a mole too

 **Kenma:** that was not my question

 **Kags:** leave him alone furry

 **Hina:** kenma si ntot a furyr!!

 **Hina:** the colalr ihe sen t me had FAKE fur!

 **Tsukishima:** did you expect it to be real?

 **wetcat:** does kenma look rich to you?!! he hasn tfallen to the claws of capitaism

 **clogs:** omg sugas hair isnt fake

 **Kenma:** k but how do u know

 **Kenma:** have you ever seen a strand fall out

 **Suga:** SHUT uP!!!

 **Suga:** i just have healthy hair!!

 **wetcat:** bitch what japanese man has gray hair at 18

 **Kags:** he might be mixed

 **Tsukishima:** mixed with what? 70 year old white man?

 **Hina:** HWO does this men he is white?

 **clogs:** he just died his hair

 **Kenma:** died his hair meaning he killed it, right?

 **Kenma:** cause that is not natural and healthy hair

 **Kenma:** looking like lint from the dryer

 **Kags:** who r u t talk about healthy hair

 **wetcat:** his hair is nautral at least1!!!

 **Kags:** didnt he bleach hs hair and let is stay so long it became brown and green

 **Makki:** yall are so bored

 **wearingucci:** hello friends~!

 **wearingucci:** its a beautiful morning

 **wearingucci:** yachi gave me a kiss and im SET for the day!

 **Kenma:** u missed a lot

 **Suga:** he didnt miss shit

 **Suga:** hello babe  <3

 **Kags:** dont you already have like 3 boyfriends why do u need another

 **Suga:** ?????

 **Suga:** yall hear something barking?

 **YourKing:**  yes king!

 **Makki:** Kageyama has been coming for EVERYBODY in this cjat

 **Tsukishima:** y'all bitchasses cant fucking spell

 **Iwa:** does this look like a clssrom to you? a school? speling bee???

 **Akaashi Keiji:** Stop being rude. Don't you have insoles to put on?

 **wetcat:** im dead

 **Bo:** akaashi is so gloyal!!

 **Mattsun:** damn i wish i had that

 **Mattsun:** these hoes aint gloyal

 **Makki:** do i look like a hoe to you

 **Iwa:** all you do is eat dirt so yes

 **Tsukishima:** why is everybody so hostile what tension has entered this room

 **Asahi:** y'all should join a church or something

 **Suga:** why?

 **Noya:** no reason in particular...

 **Hina:** did ahsaio pose as jesus rencinated and is posing as GOF!!\

 **Tsukishima:** what

 **Kags:** he asked if asahi made the mistake of posing as jesus reincarnated and is posing as God

 **Mattsun:** yall capitalize god but wont capitalize yall sentences

 **Kenma:** has anyone played Fortnite?

 **Mattsun:** everybody uis ignoring my dilemma??

 **Tsukishima:** Ahh, no. I've played Overwatch though! It's really good.

 **Bo:** y'know we helped make that game

 **Kenma:** Thats a lie when it was made u were in the Bahamas

 **Kags:** i'd make fun of u but WHAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i preordered the LY:Tear album and im still hanging by a thread in geometry and algebra 2. how have yall been


	9. assault

**Kags** : hello everybody

 **Tsukishima** : don't you have class

 **Kags** : we're both freshmen

 **Tsukishima** : we're in different classes. even without school our difference in status is apparent.

 **Suga** : good morning all!

 **Suga** : we should all have a reunion 

 **wearingucci** : thatd b amazing!what about the other schools??

 **Hina** : 1 ill b there befor everyone else!!

 **Tsukishima** : cant make it. flu.

 **Kags** : nice try, i saw you today

 **Tsukishima** : that was my twin, Tsukishima Kay

 **daichi** : thats just your name

 **Tsukishima** : What?

 **daichi** : tsukishima kay. thats ur name...

 **Tsukishima** : U READ MY NAME ON THE VOLLEYBALL SIGN UP SHEET

 **daichi** : your spelling is wrong

 **wearingucci** : no i know it looks like key and tbh it should be kay idk what his mother was thinkin cause kei is KEY and kay is KAY

 **Kags** : omg hes right

 **Hina** : your name isnt Tsukishima Kay??

 **wetcat** : omg

 **Suga** : helloooo the reunion??

 **Tsukishima** : KUROO YOU GUYS LITERALLY CALL ME KEI

 **Suga** : anyways i think we should start by adding the other team members and then add some more of the other schools

 **Suga** : tsukishima u have that johzenji guy in ur class right?

 **Tsukishima** : and what if i do

 **Suga** : iTts LITERALLY A WUESITODN DON T gEt DEFENSIVE!!!!

 **Tsukishima** : yes

 **wetcat** : who?

 **Tsukishima** : the guy who u called angry bird

 **Tsukishima** : which i saw as the pot calling the kettle black but whatever

 **wetcat** : u need to stop!! at least i have hair

 **Tsukishima** : ?? i have hair

 **wetcat** : don’t lie to yourself, boy

 **daichi** : i just got off the phone with Tsukishima Kay’s mother

 **Tsukishima** : ...

 **daichi** : check your birth certificate

 **Tsukishima** : how

 **daichi** : drivers license

 **Tsukishima** : driving is the most dangerous form of transportation

 **daichi** : u see this is why it was so hard for you to improve

 **daichi** : YOU ARE SO STUBBORN

 **Kags** : like a horse lol

 **Hina** : no its like a donkey*

 **wearingucci** : like an ass**

 **Kags** : oo that was nice

 **wearingucci** : no thats literally the saying

 **Suga** : isnt it as stubborn as a mule

 **wetcat** : no im sure its horse

 **Tsukishima** : ...

 **Tsukishima** : KEIJI. HELP ME

 **Keiji** : this is beyond my capability

 **wetcat** : keiji my tinier muscular boyfriend i missed you

 **Keiji** : If you got out if bed you could be in the lounge with me and Bo.

 **wetcat** : ok but it’s cold

 **Tsukishima** : sounds fun

 **Keiji** : we should meet up officially

 **Suga** : u meet with these strange men before u meet ppl u played with b4

 **Tsukishima** : Keiji isnt a strange man 

 **wetcat** : why isnt Bo talking

 **Keiji** : he killed his phone

 **wetcat** : oh lol

 **Tsukishima** : get him on ur phone

 **Kags** : do you miss him

 **Tsukishima** : dont talk to me

 **Kags** : shut up bitch u act like i wasnt paying ur phone bill in 2nd year cause u lost ur job

 **Tsukishima** : no my mom did?? she payed u and hina’s too???

 **Hina** : h-hina?

 **Tsukishima** : that was an accident

 **Hina** : its okay tsukki i love you too bro

 **Tsukishima** : ...cool

 

_Suga has added Ushiwaka to I Love Reveiving Ballz._

 

 **clogs** : uhm...

 **Suga** : yes?

 **Ushiwaka** : Hello. Is this the Karasuno chat?

 **wetcat** : maybe

 **Ushiwaka** : i do not recognize the man in your icon.

 **Ushiwaka** : you must have been a bad player. I am sorry.

 **wetcat** : HISSS

 **Tsukishima** : i FELT the spit from that

 **Keiji** : i literally did

 **wetcat** : bokuto appreciated it

 **Keiji** : he appreciates everything u do

 **Ushiwaka** : Bokuto?

 **Ushiwaka** : The man who is one of the top 5 aces in all of Japan?

 **wetcat** : yes. And WHOOOOO are you

 **wetcat** : I am Ushijima Wakatoshi. The #1 ace in Japan.

 **Ushiwaka** : I would love to meet Bokuto and exchange volleyball experiences.

 **Hina** : JAPAN

 **Kags** : we beat him so why r u still on that

 **Iwa** : just like seijoh, u guys BARELY won. 

 **clogs** : why did you choose to join now if you will not come to my defense

 **Ushiwaka** : Oikawa. You had the chance to beat me and failed. Do not sorrow over the unchangeable past.

 **wearingucci:** what he said

 **wearingucci** : ur serves are still scary at least

 **Hina** : i will NEVEVR forget the official volleyball buses

 **Kags** : what do they smell like

 **Ushiwaka** : very clean

 **Kags** : ive never smelt that scent

 **Keiji** : thats SAD

 **Suga** : ... u never cleaned ur bathroom or room??

 **Kags** : no my mom does

 **Hina** : ive cleaned mine before

 **Hina** : one time

 **Hina** : natsu is good at it

 **Tsukishima** : YOUR BABY SISTER SLAVES AWAY AT YOUR MESS

 **Hina** : NO SHE OFFERSTO DOIT!! IPAY HER

 **Tsukishima** : Pay her what

 **Hina** : a currency you fool

 **Tsukishima** : youre broke

 **Kags** : no he isnt.

 **Kags** : he showed me all this orange and green money the other day.

 **Kags** : With a rich guy on it. 

 **wetcat** : m..

 **wetcat** : monopoly money?

 **wearingucci** : hinata thats not real currency

 **Hina** : no i took a bunch of it n paid for my meat bun using it

 **Hina** : the cashier wasnt there so i just left the money on the counter

 **wearingucci** : thats stealing

 **Ushiwaka** : A criminal...

 **Hina** : IM NOT A CRKMIANLS

 **Kags** : omg what if u get cuaght

 **Suga** : stay out the streets hinata

 **daichi** : youve gone down the wrong path..

 **Keiji** : HINATA CAN DO NO WRONG

 **Hina** : thank you SENPAI

 **wetcat** : omg bo

 **Suga** : are youguys not next to each other

 **daichi** : weirdos

 **clogs** : idont appreciate criminals here. ill turn u in

 **Hina** : but ehat if you dont

 **clogs** : Is That A Threat?

 **wearingucci** : capitalization emphasizes emphasis

 **wetcat** : what does capitalism have to do with this

 **makki** : ok so ive been thinking of dying my hair

 **clogs** : your hair is already dyed??

 **Tsukishima** : ^^

 **makki:** no pink is my natural color

 **wearingucci** : WHAT type of japan are you from

 **makki** : HSUT UP YOU BROWN HAIRED BITHC

 **wearingucci** : my hair is a dark* brown

 **makki** : the difference?

 **wearingucci** : it’s natural

 **Tsukishima** : dont know if i should join this discussion

 **wetcat** : arent you mixed

 **Keiji** : what?

 **wetcat** : well japanese people dont have blond hair

 **Keiji** : his parents must have had the gene. maybe it was dormant for them.

 **wearingucci** : how r ur genes dormant. thats when a volcano is dead

 **Tsukishima** : Yamaguchi youre very smart. Do not fail me now. 

 **wearingucci** : his mom and bro r blonde

 **makki** : NOW HOW OS THAT NATURAL

 **clogs** : MORE LIKE HOW U GOT PINK HAIR NATURALLY

 **daichi** : we have redheads

 **clogs** : ...

 **mattsun** : dont question i

 **mattsun** : i have been tryin for years

 **clogs** : the TRUE unnatural is Ushijima!! HIS HAIR IS BLSKX BROWNISH AT SOME POINT

 **Ushiwaka** : Tendou had spurred my interest in hair highlights. It is green and brown. Please think before typing...

 **wearingucci** : when you do clownery...

 **Tsukishima** : I have learned the hard way to keepmy mouth shut when i KNOW better.

 **wetcat** : probs got tired of being embarrassed by me

 **Tsukishima** : the only time id b embarrassed of you is if i had to take you out in public

 **Tsukishima** : Keiji stop ghosting

 **Keiji** : No.

 **wetcat** : lowkey what u said is a compliment

 **clogs** : ...hes kinda right actually

 **Kags** : AKCHUALLY,, ITS AN INSULT

 **Hina** : aktchually*

 **wearingucci** : I NDJDJDJDJDH

 **wearingucci** : i have NEVER

 **daichi** : hinata...kageyama

 **Tsukishima** : NE

 **daichi** : are you okay??

 **Tsukishima** : NE...y’know, nose exhale. when u see smthng funny

 **Keiji** : i saw that on a tumblr post a few years ago

 **wetcat** : kei is a tumblr boy

 **wetcat** : how many flower crown edits have u made

 **Tsukishima** : only a few when i was younger...

 **wearingucci** : thats a lie. He had a folder

 **mattsun** : YAMAGUCHI YOUR MIND!

 **Tsukishima** : You BETRAYED ME

 **wearingucci** : i did no such thing!

 **makki** : omgomgomg punk edits and celebrity imagines

 **Tsukishima** : ....

 

_Suga has added Yachi, Yaku, Shimizu Kiyoko, and TENDOE to I Love Receiving Ballz._

 

 **Noya** : !!!!!!!

 **Tanaka** : SHKIZUU

 **Noya** : the only name i saw

 **Yachi** : Hello everyone!!

 

_wearingucci has changed his username to Yamaguchi._

 

 **Yamaguchi** : hello, beautiful 

 **Tsukishima** : WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

 **TENDOE** : OH !! BLONDE STRINGBEAN

 

_Suga has changed Tsukishima’s username to legume._

 

 **legume** : i remain cool and casual even in the midst of my demise. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thinkin of writing an actual fic with plot soon...


End file.
